Sadness greets me like an old friend when I thought I have finally said goodbye to it. I guess I have been swimming in it for too long to accept happiness.
- don’t let shitty things bring you down
- keep breathing
- endure and survive
A strong desire to neglect.
i finally finished watching kuroshitsuji today (i wrote an entire essay until the cut but it’s all over the place and contains a strange use of words) +spoiler alert
"you have to give everyone ugly motives for everything they do, because ugly motives are all you understand." - clary fray describing valentine (city of ashes)
i didn’t complete my summer bucket list but i think this summer turned out to be better than i thought it would. there was, to some extent, productivity during the summer. i enjoyed myself and indulged myself in things that made me happy. at the same time, i regretted my decisions (but that’s pretty much all year round). i ended up learning a lot about people in general, different types of societies, and myself.
i can’t stay mad at someone for longer than five minutes. it’s impossible. first i feel the short rush of anger and talk in a harsh tone for one or two minutes. then i start feeling bad about what i am doing and start feeling horrible and start hating myself.